[postlink]http://newbestmotivator.blogspot.com/2009/07/best-motivation-article-downward-spiral_20.html[/postlink]
In the other chapter, we set up model distinguishing two selves: the calculating self and the central self.When we are our calculating selves, we struggle onward and upward like contestants in an obstacle course, riveting our attention on the "barriers" we see in our way. Strengthening the concept of obstacles with metaphors, we talk about "walls" and "roadblocks", their height and prevalence, and what it will take to overcome them. This is downward spiral talk, and it is part and parcel of the effort to climb the ladder and arrive at the top.
The catchphrase downward spiral talk stands for a resigned way of speaking that excludes possibility. "The little old ladies who support classical music are all dying out," the conversation goes in downward spiral mode."Our culture has become totally commercialized, and no one wants to fund the arts". "nowadays school children are only interested in popular music--audiences for classical music are rapidly diminishing; clearly it is a a dying art."
Downward spiral talk is based on the fear that we will be stopped in our tracks and full short in the race, and it is wholly reactive to circumstances, circumstances that appear to be wrong, problematic, and in need of fixing. Every industry of profession has its own version of downward spiral talk, as does every relationship and motivation system. Focusing on the abstraction of scarcity, downward spiral talk creates an unassailable story about the limits to what is possible and tells us compellingly how things are going from bad to worse.
Why does it spiral downward,why do things tend to look more and more hopeless? For the same reason that red Dodge pickups seem to proliferate on the highways as soon as you buy one and that pregnant women appear out of nowhere approximately eight months before your baby is due. the more attention your shine on a particular subject, the more evidence of it will grow. Attention is like light and air and water. Shine attention on obstacles and problems and they multiply lavishly.
The practice of the way things are is a reality check on the run-away imagination of the calculating self. It's like the world-weary policeman saying, "just the facts. Ma'am, just the facts." Radiating possibility begins with things as they are and highlights open spaces, the pathways leading out from here.
Then the obstacles are simply present conditions--they are merely what has happened or is happening (motivated or motivating). The father in our story might say, "I have not inquired about my son's life,and he is not volunteering any information,"and he would be describing present conditions in the family.He might add: "I am afraid I don't know the right questions to ask, and it irritates me that he doesn't come to me to talk," and he would still be describing the way things are. The father would then be able to see the obvious: that sharing something of himself with his son, or asking some interested questions, would be likely next step toward greater rapport.
So, too, the chairman of the orchestra board might be satisfied with the description," There were 800 people in attendance for the March 14th concert and 700 for the program on April 10th," without going on to create a trend. For "diminishing audiences," like bogeymen, are never anywhere to be found except in someone's story. You can shake hands, however, with the 700 people who attended the April concert, and while you're at it, pass out fliers and say," Can't wait to see you at the next event!" the way
In the other chapter, we set up model distinguishing two selves: the calculating self and the central self.When we are our calculating selves, we struggle onward and upward like contestants in an obstacle course, riveting our attention on the "barriers" we see in our way. Strengthening the concept of obstacles with metaphors, we talk about "walls" and "roadblocks", their height and prevalence, and what it will take to overcome them. This is downward spiral talk, and it is part and parcel of the effort to climb the ladder and arrive at the top.
The catchphrase downward spiral talk stands for a resigned way of speaking that excludes possibility. "The little old ladies who support classical music are all dying out," the conversation goes in downward spiral mode."Our culture has become totally commercialized, and no one wants to fund the arts". "nowadays school children are only interested in popular music--audiences for classical music are rapidly diminishing; clearly it is a a dying art."
Downward spiral talk is based on the fear that we will be stopped in our tracks and full short in the race, and it is wholly reactive to circumstances, circumstances that appear to be wrong, problematic, and in need of fixing. Every industry of profession has its own version of downward spiral talk, as does every relationship and motivation system. Focusing on the abstraction of scarcity, downward spiral talk creates an unassailable story about the limits to what is possible and tells us compellingly how things are going from bad to worse.
Why does it spiral downward,why do things tend to look more and more hopeless? For the same reason that red Dodge pickups seem to proliferate on the highways as soon as you buy one and that pregnant women appear out of nowhere approximately eight months before your baby is due. the more attention your shine on a particular subject, the more evidence of it will grow. Attention is like light and air and water. Shine attention on obstacles and problems and they multiply lavishly.
The practice of the way things are is a reality check on the run-away imagination of the calculating self. It's like the world-weary policeman saying, "just the facts. Ma'am, just the facts." Radiating possibility begins with things as they are and highlights open spaces, the pathways leading out from here.
Then the obstacles are simply present conditions--they are merely what has happened or is happening (motivated or motivating). The father in our story might say, "I have not inquired about my son's life,and he is not volunteering any information,"and he would be describing present conditions in the family.He might add: "I am afraid I don't know the right questions to ask, and it irritates me that he doesn't come to me to talk," and he would still be describing the way things are. The father would then be able to see the obvious: that sharing something of himself with his son, or asking some interested questions, would be likely next step toward greater rapport.
So, too, the chairman of the orchestra board might be satisfied with the description," There were 800 people in attendance for the March 14th concert and 700 for the program on April 10th," without going on to create a trend. For "diminishing audiences," like bogeymen, are never anywhere to be found except in someone's story. You can shake hands, however, with the 700 people who attended the April concert, and while you're at it, pass out fliers and say," Can't wait to see you at the next event!" the way